how the hell...?

8 months have flown by. I can't believe Trevor is 8 months old today. I kind of feel TERRIBLE that my son will be 1 year old in 4 months. I can't handle it. He'll never be my itty bitty baby again.

on an UNrelated note: KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER. and your frenemies, well... isn't that the point of keeping your enemies "closer"...? damn I have too many frenemies.

to wrap this shit up: INSOMNIA, STOP FUCKING WITH ME. that is all.

i can't be funny on command.

I wish I was funny. or at least witty. well, sometimes i'm witty. i've also decided to no longer capitalize anything. because capitalization is for weenies. (actually, it's because this lock shows up on my screen and blocks everything and it pisses me off.)

i had hilary come over and watch trevor while i went to school, and when she left, he fell asleep sitting up on the couch. he's still passed out but now he's in his jesus pose. and lucy is snoring her fat ass away. so why am i still awake? oh yeah, because i'm nuts.

alex and i are having a facebook status fight, which is really funny because i know jesse can read it all... suckaaaa.

that is all. i have to go laugh some more at myself.

I can't stop laughing at myself.

I just sat in the backyard for almost 2 hours... laughing. mainly at myself. and certainly alone. I say some really hilarious shit. well, okay, most of the time I think it. but it's still funny. also, it's 2:15am. I stopped drinking at 6:30pm... so I'm not intoxicated. I'm just really fucking funny.

ps I also have a man voice. which is probably what has made everything that much funnier.

woe is me. or something.

maybe if I kept up with blogging I wouldn't feel quite so hopeless sometimes. like right now, where I feel like my only real friends are a bajillion miles away... which I guess in a sense is true, my best friends are ridiculously far away. but whatever. I just feel really lonely all the time.

I want fall semester to start so that I have something to do with my brain other than think... thinking causes the weird ass dreams like the one I had last night about sperm donor... and it keeps me from thinking about friendboy.

speaking of friendboy... who the fuck does that to someone? I mean seriously. way to kick me while I'm down. I didn't trust anyone and I was 8 months pregnant and still let him inside my bubble and then he does that shit to me... what the fuck. the worst part is that he keeps poking me on facebook yet he won't talk to me. I have the urge to send him a text saying "what's going on? you can engage in a fb poke war but can't say hi?"... but I'll look pathetic. not to mention we're pretty sure he has a girlfriend. he wasn't "ready for a relationship" with me, but now he's ALWAYS with this girl? what the fuck ever. seriously.

you know that saying "if you don't use it, you lose it?" I lost it. lol.

in other news: I'm a hottie. and we met some army officers on saturday at the hoppy monk and one of them has the hots for me... he text me yesterday and I never text back, I totally forgot until a little bit ago, he's going to think I'm ignoring him. he's soooo hot. lol.

Single Mom Fridays

That's supposed to be funny. But I hate my life right now.

I hate being a single mom.

Don't get me wrong, I love my son to death, he's the best thing that ever happened to me. He's amazing. I would do anything for him.

But I hate being alone. I hate raising him alone.

I really hate that my mom says she did it alone. She didn't do it alone. She had my dad, even though they weren't together. They each took turns with me... meaning my mom had her own time. The only Brandi time I've had in the last month was 45 minutes out with Cerrissa and Joseph 2 weeks ago. And going to apply for jobs. And my stupid doctor's appointment last Tuesday.

I'm depressed. I hate that the people that I talk to on a regular basis are spread out across the US... I hate that my best friends are 24+ hours away.

No, no. I really just hate him. I hate him for not even acknowledging his son. I hate him for putting his hands on me, for being verbally and emotionally abusive. I hate him for not giving me any support, emotionally nor monetarily. I hate him. I hate him so much.

New Criteria... part 1.

I have decided I have new criteria for future romantic interests... since I don't attract awesome dudes even though I'm easy and my nips tell jokes... grr. lol.

1. Must have a legitimate job. I have a habit of dating men who don't have a legitimate job. See: Daniel, who "worked" at his parents car dealership. Jesse, who is 31 and a bouncer. Otto, who... well, he just didn't have a job. I don't have time for this BS anymore. And I don't have the money to be paying for shit you should be paying for... like your own fucking gas. Or taking you on dates (I'm totally down for taking my guy on dates. Just not every single date). Or paying for drinks every time YOU ask ME out.

2. Must not ignore me for work. Seriously. That just doesn't fly. If you want to be with me, you'll make time. Don't be a douchebag. You get a day off every once in awhile. Use that day to come and snuggle or something else lame. I'm easily amused.

3. Do not be abusive. Verbal abuse. Lies. Controlling behavior. Physical violence. Just don't do it. I'll kick your ass, or find someone to kick your ass.

4. Jealousy is unacceptable. I have a lot of guy friends. I'm semi-flirtatious, though it's generally sarcastic and always harmless. I have never, nor will I ever, cheat on any of my significant others. I have a joke with my best friend Adam that we're getting married when we're 30, and we have a fake engagement photo. Do not act psycho because of that. Don't act psycho because of things from my past - they're my past for a reason. Do not accuse me of cheating because I need the occasional girls night. Do not accuse me of cheating because I failed to answer the phone while showering, or while sleeping, or while working. Just don't accuse me of cheating at all and we'll be good. I am not a jealous person. If you give me a reason to be suspicious or pissed, then I'll tell you to shove it up your ass and walk away. And never look back.

5. Don't expect me to be overly affectionate. I'm not all that affectionate. Yes, I love holding hands in public, pecks on the cheek/lips/forehead in public, hugs... but I will NOT make out, and do NOT grope me. And I don't want to snuggle all the time, and I don't want to make out like a 14 year old... and I'm not all that into having sex all the time. Moral of the story: I'm not touchy-feely. I have my reasoning. Don't pressure me. I'll kick you in the nuts.

If you're fake and you know it...

Don't announce it. Stupid bitch.

I've really never met anyone so proud of being fake. Admitting that the majority of your friends are "frenemies" isn't really a good thing either. And after admitting both things, you wonder why no one likes or respects you.

You're 23 and a masters student and hanging out with underage kids, trying to relive your "glory days"... and constantly talking about how you miss high school. No one in their right mind misses high school. We were all awkward and yeah, while it was a great time for some of us, no one wants to go back... Even the most popular kids are over it by now. We're adults. Grow up.

I'll never understand why I let her back into my life... she's obviously toxic, and dropping friends like flies... Sorry, "sweetie"... but if you're going to post things on facebook and twitter like "If you're going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty"... you should take your own advice. One day you'll realize you were, in fact, the one in the wrong, not the rest of us, and we'll all be too busy being adults and you'll have pushed us all so far away that you'll be friendless and unhappy.

By the way... you're right. You are really good at being fake. I hope it continues to serve your purpose... but when it stops, and your life crumbles around you... don't call me. I don't need a fair weather friend.

I'm lucky I own 20+ pairs...

I'm really obsessive about changing my underwear. As in, I do it like 3 times a day. Why? No idea. Sometimes I think I do it because the way I sleep my stupid leg holes stretch out. Other times I think I'm just crazy and enjoy a clean pair of underwear. Are you going to get judgey? Well fuck you, you and your dirty ass and dirty underwear!

Other than that, my life is rather unexciting. Except that an ex-boyfriend wants me back. Here's where this gets strange: He text me saying that he broke up with me because I wanted to be single. Um, clearly I didn't. I ended up in an abusive relationship. Yes, his breakup with me eventually led me to have this beautiful and amazing love of my life baby. But really? Cause at the time, I was pretty sure he was the one. Now I think he's BSC... for many reasons. But my thoughts on this: because I am not clingy and not your typical psycho girlfriend (as the majority of girls in El Paso are), I want to be single? Maybe I just respect personal space, and I want my personal space respected. And I don't fall in love easily... and I find it WAY creepy when some dude tells me he loves me after a couple dates. I haven't depended on a man for 23 years (well, my dad being an exception... but he's my dad)... and I don't need to start now. Especially when the men I keep attracting are worthless losers with barely a high school diploma. BAM. Suck it, losers. Where's my knight in shining armor? Not in El Paso.

It's okay, I'm going to marry a Detroit Red Wing... hahaha. Sad part is that it's entirely possible.

Anywho... I'm off to change my underwear.

Wait, what?

I'm married? My aunt Diane (mom's sister) told her sister-in-law Jeannine that I got married and that my parents are planning a reception at the Holiday Inn in Muskegon. Jeannine turned around and told my aunt Barb (dad's sister). SAY WHAT? I don't even have a boyfriend! And my cousins and their gfs/wife all know that too! So confused.

Let's add to it that I got a message from a girl I went to high school with that said "Hey, you're planning your own shower?" Um, what? I planned my own baby shower... that was 5 months ago...

Oh yeah... and my aunt lives in Muskegon, MI, and the girl lives in Port Huron, MI. That's 3 hours (200 miles) apart.

Nowhere on my facebook does it say anything about being in a relationship, weddngs, nothing... and the only mention of any man is my talking about little man.

I want to know where this all came from!

Can I get a big WTF?

My aunt is a fucking wackadoo. She adopted 2 kids when they were middle school age (they're her equally wackadoo husband's) and earlier she was on the phone with my other aunt, who is here visiting... and told her to tell me "welcome to parenthood". No, bitch, you didn't push a baby out of your vagina and stick him on your boob... and you certainly didn't get up every night with them when they were infants.

Can we tell I can't stand my aunt? She's seriously a fucking whack job. She acts like she's still in high school. I really can't stand her. And I was tricked into giving her my cell number. And she's mad that I won't let her comment on my facebook bahahaha.

Listen, you stupid bitch.

I honestly wish I could get it in me to stoop to their level. Seriously, I'm not a one upper (or downer in this case?!) but I want to smack the shit out of this twat and make her realize how easy she's had it her entire life.

But, I can't. Not to mention she's spent the last 4 years doing everything in her power to make my life miserable (and not succeeding... bahahaha). All she's done is alienate herself from all of her friends. Sucka.

Anywho... 

L is persistent. I mean, he's been persistent for years. Why? No idea. Maybe because I'm not crazy? He says he's obsessed with white girls (okay, seriously, that's the 3rd time I've heard that in 2 weeks)... hahahah. Whatever. At least we have interesting conversations, and he's been a real friend to me for the past few years and didn't stop talking to me when I was pregnant. 

I wish my effing laptop wasn't broken. I'm so scared to move it because it flops around. I think I'm going to use electrical tape and tape it together until I can get the new one. (Yes, new one has been decided upon already). I don't even know how it broke, but I'm very sad about it. It runs so well and is otherwise in great condition... damn it. I'm so sad. It does, however, piss me off that everyone keeps telling me to get a MAC.... I fucking hate them. I hate the operating system, they're super expensive, the keyboard is weird... and I HATE THE OPERATING SYSTEM. Bleh. Leave it alone, I'm getting another Dell, and I don't care! 

Whatever, I'm stuck on how I should start blogging about how awful my life has been so she can see she's a fucking cunt. But I won't. I told Cerrissa that I was going to blog in detail about how I pushed a baby out of my vagina. BAM. She found that hilarious.

But seriously, whenever I get time, I should make a serious blog post... so that all 2 of the people that read this can really know why I'm so... the way I am... lol. But for now... it's sleep time, I finally got Mr. Party Pants in bed... haha

here, let me entertain you...

1. What was the highlight of your week?
dinner and ridiculousness with Cerrissa and Joseph last night.

2. Whose car were you in last?
my mom's....

3. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
never. or whenever little man wakes up to eat.

4. What color shirt are you wearing?
white.

5. How long is your hair?
short :(.

6. Are you good looking?
of course! ;)

7. Last movie you watched?
A Cinderella Story or something, it has Selena Gomez in it.

8. Who were you with?
myself.

9. Last thing you ate?
stuffed crust pizza. not as good as it sounds.

10. Last thing you drank?
coke.

11. When was the last time you had your heart broken?
ugh.

12. Who came over last?
um... my sister's friends. I don't have friends.

13. Are you happy right now?
kind of.

14. What did you say last?
good night.

15. Where is your phone?
on my nightstand.

16. What color are your eyes?
green.

17. Are you left-handed?
nope.

18. Spell your name without vowels:
Brnd.

19. Do you have any pets?
my fat beagle Lucy.

20. Favorite Vacation?
Yellowstone.

21. What do you dislike currently?
ha ha hahahaha. everythinggggg.

22. What are you listening to?
I'm watching the Disney Channel. go ahead and judge.

23. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
someone to snuggle with.

24. What is your favorite scent?
cinnamon. rain.

25. Who makes you happiest?
my little man.

26. What were you doing at midnight last night?
some cunt had her fake boobs rubbing on my back...

27. When is your birthday?
March 13.

28. Who has the same phone as you?
um, everyone?

29. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
last summer.

30. Do you read your horoscope?
occasionally.

31. Where was the last place you bought something?
Target.

32. How do you feel about your hair right now?
I wish it was longer :(.

33. Do you bite your nails?
no.

34. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
no.

35. Do you have any expensive jewelery?
still no.

36. Myspace or facebook?
twitter.

37. How fast have you driven a car?
fast.

38. Have you ever smoked?
yes.

39. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
psychology, obviously ;).

40. Do you have Verizon?
negative.

41. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
the wrong kind, clearly.

42. Do you have any hidden talents?
I can fit my entire fist in my mouth. BAM. oh, and I can sing...

43. Favorite Song?
Ice Ice Baby. NOT.

44. Do you like to sing at all?
yes.

45. Dream Job?
counseling victims of sexual assault and domestic violence.

46. Where does most of your family live?
Muskegon, MI.

47. Are you an only child or do you have siblings?
brother, half brother, sister, sister-in-law.

48. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
kind of.

49. What was the first thing you thought when you woke up?
woahhhh my boobs are going to explode!

50. Do you drink?
how else would I keep hydrated?!

51. Know any other languages?
gibberish. ebonics. a little spanish.

52. Ever write a coded message?
um, I was a child once.

53. Have you ever been IN a wedding?
nope. and never will be. I'm not even cool enough to be a bridesmaid, let alone a bride... bahaha.

54. Do you have any children?
yes, my little man <3.

55. Did you take a nap today?
yes.

56. Who has the same birthday as you?
my freshman roommate Jessica, my high school friends Mike, Randy, and Jordan.

57. Ever met anyone famous before?
yes. plenty.

58. Do you want to be famous one day?
nah.

59. Any Pet Peeves?
ugh, don't get me started.

60. Are you multitasking right now?
sure?

61. Do you like Britany Spears?
Britney. and FUCK YES.

62. What is your least favorite chore?
all of them, clearly. lol.

63. Last place you drove your car?
Target and back.

64. Ever been out of the country?
Canada and Mexico.

65. Where were you born?
Muskegon, MI.

66. Could you handle being in the military?
I could have when I was going to join 5 years ago...

67. What is your average cell phone bill?
too much.

68. Who are you thinking about right now?
my future boyfriend.

69. When was the last time you laughed REALLY hard?
earlier when I was watching the episode of Chelsea Lately that Ross Matthews hosted...

70. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
too many, most of them I never wear.

71. Are your toes always painted?
yes.

72. How many piercings do you have?
just one hole in each ear.

73. What are you doing today?
sleeping, cleaning.

74. Have you ever been gambling?
VEGASSS.

75. When is the last time you updated your page?
what page?

76. Do you like rollercoasters?
love.

77. Have you ever been to disneyland or world?
world, twice.

78. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
um... Brian on Family Guy. Who doesn't love a talking dog?

79. Last thing you cooked?
me, cook? BAHAHAHA. ramen.

80. How's the weather?
hot. boo.

81. Do you e-mail?
yes.

82. What's the stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
freshman year of college I threw my cell phone off a 2nd floor balcony... onto a cement patio.

83. Last time you were sick?
I'm finally almost totally over my cold.

84. What states have you lived in?
Michigan, Indiana, and Texas.

85. Do you wish you could move?
yes.

87. What is your dream car?
a mom car.

88. Have you ever wanted someone you cant have?
isn't that the definition of want?

89. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
Houston. and Betsy would be with me.

90. Are you happy with your life?
mostly...

beep beep.

Well, he's OUT. For real. I gave him a billion chances and he just kept fucking up. I can't keep putting myself through that. Yes, I'm hurt, but I'll get over it.

My sweet little man is teething, and he's a screaming mess. It breaks my heart. I cried with him earlier because there's nothing I can do. One has broken the gums, the other hasn't. Poor guy :(. I did just successfully get him in bed, hopefully he sleeps through the night like he has been.

My aunt gets here Tuesday night. She's taking over my room. I kind of actually don't care, minus I'll miss my TV at night. I'm bunking with Trevor, but the bed in there is more comfortable. She leaves next Monday, so it's not too long.

My brother and sister-in-law are trying to make a baby!

Ohhh, Armando added me on facebook and wants to hang out, he says he misses me. OHHH a year later you miss me. We'll see. I can't leave little man with anyone until he's done screaming his head off the entire time he's awake... haha.

Speaking of men, I wrote my future boyfriend a letter in Afghanistan. How weird is that?

Finally... I've applied a million places... okay not entirely a million, but a lot. and it bugs me that no one has called me back yet :(.

Good night, drama queens.

P.S. BULLDOG NATION! Butler is taking it all Monday night!!

I don't think I like that...

People assume things about me that are not totally true. The whole joke (kind of) with Monique about my needing birthday sex never happened (obviously, since Erick sucks) but people assume I'm down to hit it and quit it. No, not down for booty calls or taking some dude home from the bar... I don't know why people assume that. I've never been that girl. I used to leave the bar alone before I got pregnant, which was a huge joke with my friends. And now I don't want to do anything with a guy unless he's proven his trust and we're in a relationship, since I have a kid and I've had my feelings hurt way too much lately. Is my sense of humor the reason people think I'm down for that? I don't know. I guess I and my real friends know the truth and that's all that matters.

Whine.

This is sheerly to whine. I'm exhausted, I've had this ridiculous headache for days, my jaw is swollen and hurts, my back hurts, my left foot is still swollen and sore (has been for over 2 weeks now).... I'm stressing about getting into graduate school... I still can't find a job - I applied for a few more yesterday. I'm lonely and despite what I keep saying, I'm not over Erick.

Oh, and what is with guys acting like I was ever easy or like I can just go be a booty call or something? Even if I wanted to, you can't take a 2 month old (or any child at that) on a booty call. I'm a single mom raising this baby on my own, I don't get a break. I don't get to just leave overnight whenever I want (or ever) like the rest of these single moms. Sorry my sperm donor is a fucking loser and I don't want him anywhere near me or my perfect little man... not to mention the thought of sex disgusts me AND I've never been the hit it and quit it type. Yeah, I'm like the Kelly Clarkson song "I Do Not Hook Up". And I'm 1 month away from not having had any sex in 1 year. Born again virgin here.

I think Jonathan was in town, but he never called me. I haven't seen him since November 09. Ugh.

I just want a beer right now. I think I'm going to have one. T is sleeping for now.

23rd Birthday = Great Success!

So, despite the birthday curse striking for the 3rd year in a row (description of curse to come), I had the best birthday yet. Well, it could have been better, UTEP could have beat Memphis Saturday morning and could have gotten a well deserved NCAA tourney bid, but I digress.

I got ready at Gina's, and we headed out. Ciroc Red Berry is delish.

Perla and her bf came, Kim and her friend, and Cerr and Joseph. And of course the radio loves.

I also embarrassed some dude because he was trying to get me to dance with him and he was so not attractive.

Alex told me where sperm donor douchebag works, so now I know where to avoid/find his sorry ass if necessary. :) and I love Alex because even though they're cousins, he's a total badass and good friend.

I got way too drunk - blame Gina and her decision to pour vodka straight from the bottle into my mouth... even the thought of it now makes me cringe. She and Javi drove me home, helped me in the house, and made sure I was okay. They really are 2 of the best friends anyone can have.

I was in a coma until 2pm... got up, showered, etc... just snuggled and did nothing all day. And got my first birthday cake in years!

Now, the birthday curse: every year for the past 3 years I've been dumped or ditched by the guy I'm seeing on or the day before my birthday.
21st birthday, Richie (we'd been dating for a month) left me on the east side after my cousin had left with my car. Loser. He later got engaged to a fat, trashy, fake blonde.
22nd birthday, Mando (we'd been dating since October) asked me if he could take me out for dinner the night before because I had plans the day of. About 30 minutes before he was supposed to pick me up, he text me that he couldn't make it. I never heard from him again. I saw him the night before Thanksgiving when I was super pregnant... the girl he was with must have known I was his ex because she seemed pissed.
23rd birthday, Erick (we've been seeing each other since the beginning of December), whom I haven't seen since a couple days after my baby was born (whole different story), was supposed to come out. Text me that he wasn't sure he'd make it. Never showed. Never even text me yesterday to tell me happy birthday.

Long story short: moving on.

But really, best birthday ever :)

Comin' out your mouth with that blah blah blah

I should probably stop announcing that I'm home alone... people are going to find out where I live and come murder me or something. But really, being home alone sucks, especially when it's dark, I live on the top of a freaking mountain, and it's windy as hell so there's all sorts of creepy noises. At least Lucy is here to "protect" me... until someone comes in and she rolls over to get her belly rubbed. Horrible attack dog.

I'm mad that Daylight Savings Time starts on my birthday, it makes my day an hour short. Only 23 hours for my bday? WHACK. Granted, we're going all out, but seriously. Speaking of, I totally need to call BP and reserve my VIP... whatev. I don't really want to do anything... I'd say that's a secret, but it's not. I hate my birthday. Too much hype and I always get disappointed. I can guarantee that E won't show up, even though he promised multiple times that he's going to spend my birthday with me. That's cool, only 2 months after I had a freaking baby you decide to see me again. I should invite C too and watch the drama unfold. lol. I need some entertainment in my life.

Speaking of drama, my sister likes to cause it, and it's funny. Talking smack to girls that hate me... I hope she does it again tonight, I like hearing the stories when she comes home. It's funny, because the girls are bigger than her, but she could kick their asses, so the shit talking just cracks me up.

How stupid are you?

So I'm dumb enough to believe "I wish I had a day off so we could do something" blah blah BULLSHIT. Then you're dumb enough to text me that you have a day off and then say nothing else.

So stupid. And I mean you.

I put up with way too much BS, I'm ready to find a real man. That's going to be difficult here, all the "men" in El Paso are mama's boys. Losers.

My life as a failure.

I submitted my first grad school application today. AKA I had to overnight the bitch to Las Cruces... which is a half hour away. Why didn't I just suck it up and drive it there tomorrow? Because I'm slow.

Now I play the waiting game. And this time it's uncomfortable. I could have gone anywhere for undergrad. I only applied to 2 schools initially (University of Evansville and Michigan State) and then I only applied to UTEP for transfer... But I could have gone anywhere. Everyone wanted me. I was smart, I did amazing on the ACT... now I'm a dud. I have nothing going for me. I graduated with a 3.42, which is not bad by any means, but not spectacular. And my far less than stellar GRE score from 2 years ago is really not going to get me anywhere. Oh yes, and there's my major lack of extracurriculars... I have ZTA, the research lab, and work. Woohoo.

I don't have to submit my other application until April, so I'm okay for a month. Hopefully by then I'll know if I got in to NMSU, so I can know if I even need to apply.

Oh yeah, and then there's my birthday bash. Gina and I did the planning last night/today... March 12. Black Pearl. White and Silver party. I was trying to go off the P. Diddy White Party theme... lol. So lame. Now I have to find something white and/or silver to wear. FML.

I'm horrible at saving money. Just recognize that and work with me. I need a job so bad.

Hypocrite, or too legit?

It makes me mad when people say one thing and do another. Like, when my sister says she'll babysit for me and then bails. Or when people claim to be your friend and they aren't. Or when friendboy says he likes me and then is lame.

I finally called him on it yesterday. He text me "Hola" so I said "Hey. How are you today?" and he said "stressed the fuck out." so I said (finally) "that sucks. though I am too, but for different reasons." HAHA. duh. I have a 7 week old baby, my parents are leaving me all alone here for 5 freaking days starting Thursday, and I have a grad school application due Tuesday. I'm so not getting in. I'm going to end up back at UTEP taking non-degree seeking grad student classes at the rate this is going.

Oh, and did I mention I'm DYING? Not really, but holy shit I haven't been in this much pain since they thought I had fibromyalgia freshman year of college. Except this time it's not my muscles, it's my joints. Like I all of a sudden have arthritis all over my body. WTF. Boycott.

Anyway... I was one of those people last night. I told Nico and Karina I was free... and then I passed out until almost 11pm. Oops. I'll text them in a minute and apologize. What an ass.


(from 2/26/2011)

That's not easy (unlike you).

Why was I never told that running errands with a 7 week old baby is impossible? Not because of him, actually... because even though he fussed the entire time, it wasn't a big deal. No, the idiots that live in this town cannot drive. At all. No exaggeration, I was almost sideswiped SEVEN times. They should really make the idiots here get their driver's licenses.

Maybe I shouldn't say anything, I have almost $700 in unpaid speeding tickets...

Speaking of "easy"... ever notice that the only girls who say "Haters make me famous!" are the girls that are actually "famous" because they've slept with everything with a penis? Bitch, people don't hate you... they think you're nasty.


(from 2/24/2011)

That would never happen in real life.

I keep having ridiculously realistic dreams.

Case in point - yesterday afternoon T and I were having one of our afternoon marathon napping sessions, and I woke up in a panic because the DB sperm donor was in it. The dream? He found out where we moved to and was camped out trying to get me to take him back. Okay, that would potentially happen in real life. What wouldn't? I WAS ACTUALLY CONSIDERING IT. WTF. Please note I didn't go back to sleep after that.

I feel like it's a sign that I'm going to see him in public. I would have to go all ghetto white girl on his ass. Or pretend I've never seen him before. Either way, I'll probably pee myself.


(from 2/23/2011)